Lesson Time
by IamDragonFury
Summary: Sequel to "New Power Syndrome," Fionna, Cake, and Marshall Lee discuss vampiric abilities and history. Not as boring as it sounds.


Lesson Time

Chapter 1

I wrote this...because I felt like it.

* * *

Fionna and Cake were sitting on Marshall Lee's house deck with Vampire King himself, they were reading the book Marshall had given them called "The Enchiridion of Vampiric Abilities."

"Invisibility." Fionna read

"Always had that." Marshall Lee stated

"Flight." Fionna continued

"Obviously." Marshall stated again

"Night Vision." Fionna continued

"As all vampires have." Marshall Lee sighed

Fionna continued reading until she came across something odd "Marsh," wondered awkwardly "am I reading this right?" She pointed to an area on the page "Because it looks like it says _dude _vampires can get pregnant."

Marshall Lee looked at the page "Oh yeah, even _we _don't get why it's possible."

Cake looked at the book page.

"It also says _girl _vampires can get mortal _dudes _pregnant," Cake said "that is a new world of bizarre right there."

"Yeah...it's wierd." Marshall said

"How's that even physically possible?" Fionna asked

"It explains in the back," Marshall Lee informed "page...2679."

Fionna turned to that page and her and Cake read it.

"...Oohhh." they said in unison

"That's how it works." Cake said

"What if it happens between two vampires?" Fionna asked

"Then it's like "rock paper scissors," Marshall Lee explained "except you can _not_ get a do-over."

"Bummer." Fionna said

"It's hard to imagine a guy being preggers," Cake inquired "does it play out the same way as when a chick is pregnant."

"I've heard stories," the vampire boy said "and apparently when a guy vampire is pregnant they _don't _fill out, and there's a much higher fatality risk."

"Really?" Fionna replied

"Yeah," Marshall Lee added "I heard it was almost like gutting fish."

"Ick." Fionna said

"Yeah...it's...brutal...and messy." the vampire sighed

"Good to know." Cake said flatly

Fionna kept reading the book.

"Roses are toxic to vampires?" Fionna uttered as she read the page

"Yep," Marshall said "and we have no idea why."

"It's not in the book," Fionna informed "but I heard vampires couldn't cross running water."

"That is an ugly _lie _made up by mortals over a millenium ago!" Marshall Lee hissed

Fionna looked at Cake.

"I told you it wasn't true, Cake." the human girl said

"And we don't all hate God either!" the vampire boy huffed

"God?" Fionna responded questioningly

"Never mind." Marshall Lee sighed

"Sorry," Fionna voiced "I wasn't there a thousand years ago, so I don't know what the stories were told."

"There's a lot," Marshall said "but I don't wanna bore you."

"We don't bore that easily." Fionna uttered quickly

"Haha!" the vampire snickered, patting her on the head "You're funny."

Fionna shrugged meekly.

"Have you ever heard of the _boogeyman_?" Marshall Lee asked

"Boogeyman?" Fionna and Cake responded in unison

"Yeah," the Vampire King explained "a thousand years ago he was said to hide in the rooms of small children at night."

"You mean..." Fionna wondered "like a creeper?"

"Yes," Marshall Lee continued "his lot in life was scare naughty children into being good, and if they didn't be good, he'd...EAT THEM!" He started making playful snarling noises.

"Ahhahaha!" Fionna laughed, blushing because she thought his act was funny...and kinda cute "You're making that up."

"No I'm not," Marshall affirmed "little kids over a millenium ago actually were convinced that there was a monster man hiding in their bedrooms, under their beds or in their closets."

"Do you believe that?" Fionna asked

"Of course not," the vampire scoffed hanging upside down in the air "I had worse things to worry about than some fictitious child stalker lurking in the shadows of my room."

"I bet." Cake said

"In ancient times, there were all kinds of stories of monsters and evil beings that preyed on people." Marshall said

"People weren't that smart back then were they?" Fionna remarked

"They weren't necessarily dumb," Marshall Lee explained "they were just really superstitious, and they liked telling stories."

"We know you got lots of them." Fionna said

"Oy," Marshall sighed "I got so many that even that book alone wouldn't fit them all in it."

"Maybe sometime you should write a book full of the stories you got." Fionna suggested

"I'm not much of a story writer," the Vampire King said "I'm more of a music writer."

"Well maybe we can do it together sometime," Fionna proclaimed "you tell the stories, we put them in words on paper, and several pages later we got a book."

"Yeah," Marshall Lee laughed "a book big enough to sink the Bible...I'll explain later."

Fionna closed the "Enichiridion of Vampiric Abilities" and held it closely.

"We'll finish this later," the human girl said "let's go get food!"

"Yay! Food!" Marshall Lee responded

"Ooh!" Cake said "I should make an Everything Burrito!"

"I have a can of Tomato Juice the size of a pumpkin!" Marshall said

"I will make a SANDWICH!" Fionna declared

* * *

Short, but I had to write something after "New Power Syndrome."

I'm gonna try to write a story where the genderswapped characthers meet the original characters, and one of the characters will end up with their genderswapped doubles.


End file.
